Check List: How to Spot a Child Predator or Child Molester

You need to be aware of the following...

~ A person who is very helpful or alluring

~ A person who exhibits peer-like play

~ A person who has no adult friends and will spend time with children rather than adults

~ A person who plays tickling games and roughhouses/dog piles with kids

~ A person who is immediately accepted into the family

~ A person who refuses to honor boundaries set by you or by society in general

These are all signs of grooming that child predators will use on you, your family, and on entire communities. There is no way to know for sure if someone is a child molester until they have violated a child. Therefore, you cannot accuse someone based on this information. Instead, you can use this as a tool to screen out high risk people, and to keep them away from your children.

A person who is very helpful or alluring:

By alluring we mean they are so enticing, flattering, and well loved, that it's like a seduction. They suck you in and manipulate you into unconditional trust without you even realizing it.

This is someone who offers help without asking for anything in return. They already have a price in mind- your child. Inside, they hate you. But on the outside, they become whatever it is you want or need. They want you to like them and trust them so that when they rape your child, you won’t suspect a thing.

A person who exhibits peer-like play:

Ever hear someone described as “just another big kid”? That’s fine, as long as they are able to switch back to an adult rather than staying in the “kid” mode continuously. Child molesters think of children as their peers. They see them in terms of sexual attraction, not cuteness.

A person who has no adult friends and will spend time with children rather than adults:

We all have friends and even acquaintances that we talk with on a regular basis. Child predators devote all of their time to children. Their entire lives revolve around children. They continue babysitting, and often prefer activities and jobs that involve children like mentoring for children’s organizations, coaching, teaching, camp counselors, etc. They will often choose these activities over socializing with their adult peers. There's nothing wrong with jobs and activities that revolve around children, but when an adult chooses children over nearly all adult activities, they are high risk.

For example, there is a party at a friends house. "Bob" offers to watch the children for everyone, rather than attend the party. He has a good excuse of course, but he always seems to spend his time with children rather than adults.

A person who plays tickling games and roughhouses/dog piles with kids:

When interviewed, convicted child molesters describe how they use tickling to desensitize children to sexual touch, and to push the boundaries of acceptable behavior in front of the parents. Is it alright for Grandpa to tickle his grandchild and laugh with him/her? Yes, of course it is. But it’s not appropriate for a grown man or woman to “dog pile” with several young children. It’s also not appropriate for an adult to get physically personal with your children by tickling and touching.

A person who is immediately accepted into the family:

Being accepted into a family situation should take time and trust. Child predators are skilled at manipulating adults into accepting them. Stop and take a look at any situation where a stranger, who approaches your family or child, immediately gains your complete trust and acceptance.

A person who refuses to honor boundaries set by you or by society in general:

He might touch children’s bottoms when pushing them on the swings, or tickle and touch inappropriately. He might find ways to be alone with your child for long periods of time. He might give your child gifts and convince your child that they need to spend more time alone together.

Anyone who crosses the line, and does something to make you or your child uncomfortable, should be setting off alarms. He will use excuses that make him appear to be helping your child, or concerned for your child. Excuses such as helping with homework, or practicing baseball, etc.

Often when confronted, the predator will go on the attack and be offended that you accused him. He may accuse you of being inappropriate. Then he will continue the abuse.

Child molestation has reached epidemic proportions. 25-33% of children continue to be molested. 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthdays. What we are doing now, is not working. It’s time to change that. The time for looking the other way has come to an end.

Arm yourself with information so that you can help to stop the child predators from getting their hands on another victim. Remember, 95% of all child molestation is done by someone the child and/or family knows, not by strangers. Child predators do not want you to know what they do and how they manipulate you into trusting them. Don’t let that happen. Do something to stop it. Do something to make a difference and to keep our children safe.

Go read all of our grooming articles here

Rafael Valadez, a Serial Child Molesting Suspect

Police in Ontario, CA have been trying to convict Rafael Valadez of child molestation since 1993. Unfortunately, Valadez’s victims are very young- only 6 to 9 years old. That makes it difficult to convict him based on the testimony of the victims.

Police call him a serial child molester, and they say he's been in court for the same thing in 2005 and 2006.

So far police have identified 6 different victims, going back to 1993. The police say they know there are more victims out there, and they urge everyone to take a good look at Valadez’s picture. If you have any information, or think you know of more victims, please call Ontario Police Detective Naanjo at (909) 395-2764 source

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Police describe Valadez as befriending the families, and then moving in with them to gain access to the children.

Classic grooming behavior.

Valadez threatens to kill the victims if they tell.

Classic grooming behavior.

He always molests children in a specific age range.

Classic grooming behavior.

As we've said before, child molesters work very hard to make you like them because they know that it will make it difficult for you to believe they are molesting or raping your child. Make no mistake about it, they are predators who are after our children. You can do something to stop them and protect your children. Go read our Grooming Articles and arm yourself with the knowledge about how these predators work to fool parents and entire communities in order to get their hands on kids.

The time for looking the other way has come to an end. It's time to do something to stop these monsters and to protect our children.

The Time for Looking the Other Way Has Come to an End

It’s Time to Make a Difference

I’m here to tell you the truth. The truth is, there are monsters out there. They want to rape our kids. The truth is ugly and brutal. I will not stand by, and let these monsters carry on without any type of accountability. You need to be aware of these monsters. You need to know what they do and how they do it. It starts here, and it starts now.

As parents, we are in charge of our kids. We are the ones who have to keep them safe. We cannot put that responsibility onto the child. A child cannot mentally or physically fight a predator. That does not mean that they should not be educated. It just means that the time for looking the other way has come to an end.

Just look down at your child or grandchild. Take a good look. What would you do to protect them? Anything, right? Well, now is the time to start educating yourself. Knowledge is power.

Start with reading our Grooming Articles. Then…

Talk about it:

Stop being embarrassed or afraid to say the words, “molestation”, or “sex”, or “child molester” or “pedophile” or “child predator”. Use them, and think of them. Let your child know that it’s ok to say those words too. I’m not saying it’s ok to accuse or label someone; I’m saying society is afraid to talk about taboo subjects. It gives the power to the predators. If you are hesitant to use those words, then you won’t talk about it. Talking about it means the subject is no longer taboo, and it takes the power away from the predators.

Be Brave:

At first you will stand out and draw attention. That’s good. You want others to listen to you when you talk about child predators. Know this: If your child is molested, there’s a 85-95% chance that is was done by someone you know or someone your child knows. You need to be brave enough to look at those you know, love, and trust, and think, “is he/she a child predator?” You need to do this before it’s too late- before they get their hands on your child.

Use your knowledge:

Use your knowledge to keep your kids safe. If you see someone using grooming behaviors, stop them by preventing them from controlling the situation. Don’t let them get what they want just to be polite. If you see inappropriate behavior, say something. That’s right, speak up and point it out and make that person stop. Look them in the eye and let them know that you know exactly what they are doing and that you will not tolerate it.

Share the Knowledge:

Share the information about grooming and child predators with everyone. This is how we will stop them. If everyone knew what to look for, then there would be a lot less victims out there.

As I said before, 2008 will be a turning point in the fight against child predators and in strengthening public awareness. It starts here and now, and it starts with you. You CAN make a difference. By making a difference, you can help save a child from rape, torture, and even death. Don’t let the predators get away with hurting our children. They hide and lie because they know that people don’t want to face the truth. The time for looking the other way has come to an end. Please help me to tell the truth to everyone. Please help me to stop the monsters.

Child Molesters, Pedophiles, and Child Predators: How to Protect Your Children

Child predators are very difficult to detect. They are good at hiding. Their entire life is fake, a lie. They lie everyday of their lives. They use deception to cover up what they really are- predators hunting children.

Most child molesters begin hunting children with deception, lies, and manipulation, not with violence. They work very hard to make you like them because they know that it will make it difficult for you to believe they are molesting or raping your child.

Their lies and deception are difficult or impossible to detect either because they are so practiced at lying, or because they convince themselves they are not doing harm, or because they enjoy lying.

They are practiced liars. Looking for signs of lies does not work. Looking down/away or fidgeting are well known supposed signs of lying, so child molesters won’t do that. Instead, they will use direct eye contact when talking to you because they know it will make most people think that they are telling the truth.

Child molesters don’t show or feel guilt when they lie. They often convince themselves that what they do to children is not wrong or harmful. Telling themselves that children should be free to have sex, or that they really like it, or even that they deserve whatever is done to them, are ways the molester justifies their brutality.

Psychopaths are a different breed all together. They actually enjoy lying. They get a thrill out of it, and will lie any chance they get, even if there is nothing to gain by doing it. They lie for the joy of lying and being able to fool someone.

Liars will commonly evade an issue rather than outright lying. You should pay careful attention to what people say instead of what they are implying. We often anticipate what we think people are going to say, and then fill in the rest in our heads. Although most child molesters will directly lie if pushed hard enough, they start by objecting to the question, or answering the question with a question, or saying things like, “I can’t believe you think I did that.” In other words, they will avoid outright answering a question or accusation.

Stopping Child Predators:

Since it is so hard to tell if child molesters are lying, the best way to stop them and protect your children is to avoid high risk people, high risk situations, and to look for signs of grooming.

Look for and put a stop to common signs of grooming:

• Singling out your child or taking them away from a group

• Unnecessary and inappropriate touching

• Special favors, gifts, or attention

• Taking your child on trips or extra activities

• Trying to spend extra time with your child outside of the appropriate activities

Avoid high risk people and situations. A man with no adult friends or spouse, who spends most or all of his time with children or youth activities, is high risk. If they don’t have children of their own, or children in the age group they are spending time with, be suspicious.

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Joe is a nice young man. He’s single with no kids of his own. He appears to have no friends his own age. He always hangs out with the neighborhood kids. He's usually with kids who are 12 years old and younger. The kids get along great with him, and look up to him. He even has them over to his house to go swimming. He often babysits for a couple of the families in the neighborhood for free. There was a block party a couple of months ago and everyone was there. Joe spent his time with all of the children instead of with any of the adults.

He just offered to take the neighborhood boys to a movie down the street. He wants to know if your 10 year old son can go too.

Should you let your son go to the movie? NO

Should you let your son spend time with this man? NO

This man is high risk, and therefore he should be avoided, and your son should not be with him. That does not mean that you should be rude to him or accuse him of anything. It simply means that he should be avoided like the plague.

Be warned. Child molesters and pedophiles are predators. They will ask you if your child can participate in an activity in front of your child. They do this on purpose. They want you to have to make an immediate decision. If you say no, then you disappoint your child, and you become the bad guy. They are predators hunting their prey. They know they have a better chance of getting their hands (and other body parts) on your child if your child is present when they ask you these questions.

You need to be with your child. I know we are all busy, but the best way to deter a child predator is to spend time with your child. Go to their activities, their baseball practices, as well as the games. Don’t just drop them off. If you are there, then you send a message to predators that your child is off limits and that you are watching. Molesters look for easy targets. They look for something that is missing or needed. Then they become what is needed and fill the void. If you are with your child, then the predator will move on and find another child to victimize.

Read all of our Grooming Articles here.

Check back, there’s more grooming information coming soon.

Pedophiles Encouraged to “Infiltrate” the Teaching Profession

Child predators and pedophiles have always been in all areas of life, and in every profession. They often get jobs that involve children. I found a post at a pedophile message board that openly encourages these child predators to "infiltrate the teaching profession" because "This is where the poisoning is at its most insidious, and this is where an antidote of true childlove is most effective."

That’s right folks, the pedophiles and child molesters are organizing and instructing each other on how to become teachers so they can gain access to our kids. They feel it is their “duty to help these kids”.

Pedophiles and child molesters are finding ways to “legitimately” spend time with small children. Alone. They are now plotting ways to overtake society without revealing themselves.

Their slogan? "You'll be helping the kids, helping our cause, and enriching your life."

Help? Let’s just stop and take a look at what pedophiles and child molesters think “helping” kids is…

LOD says, "I just want to make a little girl happy and have a loving relationship with her. That's all. Now is that so wrong?"

While Blue Heaven says, “We're good people trying to do good things.” He talks about his “girlfriend” and says, “I love this girl, and I like to spend time with HER not her attention hogging sister. We broke the rules, though. We were *gasp* alone…. I realized the mother sees me for what I am.”

On the subject of “Babies and nonconsensual touching”, hayaku says, “fondling it or giving a prostate massage would not [count as molesting] so long as it was to calm and please it.” - I just love how he refers to a baby as “it”. This is just another example of how a child molester justfies anally molesting a child.

Joey Bishop doesn't water it down. He says, "My AoA is a bit lower than yours(8 to 12), and yeah, when I see a hot girl of that age, I do think "she's hot".

In case you doubt the sexual desire of pedophiles, weasel makes it disgustingly clear in a post titled, "Hunting boys down"…

“I was entranced. Cute little, red, round butt, bustling down the street, and a sweet head of blond hair, to top it off... I saw his butt close-up. His red nylon pants were perfectly contoured to his hot little body, as was his black, long sleeve, stretch polyester shirt.”

Now, back to the original issue, child predators infiltrating the teaching profession…

LGsouL says, "This is a good frontier on which to help kids and spread our cause without revealing ourselves for the better of society as a whole. I am aiming for my 60 credits now. I should be done by next year some time WOOHOO I cannot wait!"

gl4ever agrees, and even posts about being accused of "inappropriate touching" where he claims to have only touched a little girls "lower tummy".

Wake up people! Pedophiles and child molesters are in our schools. They are in our children’s organizations. They are our neighbors, coaches, counselors, pastors, mentors, uncles, brothers, parents, and friends. In other words, they are anyone and everyone, and they are everywhere.

Do not allow your child to be alone with an adult. Do not ignore your instincts. If you see or suspect suspicious behavior, put a stop to it and report it.

Read our Grooming Articles Here, and keep your kids safe.

High School Boys Unknowingly End up on Porn Site

Unauthorized photos of teen water polo athletes were posted on gay porn sites

High school water polo teams competing at competitions should not have to worry about who's taking their pictures, and even worse, where those pictures will end up.

The Orange County Register found five gay-oriented Web sites that contained dozens of non-action photographs of apparently unsuspecting high school boys water polo players from least 11 Orange County high schools as well as schools in Los Angeles and San Diego counties.

On these sites, images of local high school athletes, some as young as 14, according to parents, are next to photos of nude or semi-nude young males and graphic sexual content. The photos are the subject of lewd comments from chat room participants as far away as Australia.

According to The Orange County Register, UC Irvine police confirmed they are investigating whether Scott Cornelius, a UCI police dispatcher, photographed high school players for gay-oriented sites. Cornelius remains on "active duty," according to UCI Police Chief Paul Henisey.

The site had water polo images that listed photo credits for Scott Stanford. The photos credited to Scott Stanford were removed on Friday following Register inquiries made to UC Irvine police and Cornelius. Other photos remain online.
source

What would you do if it were your child or grandchild that had their picture on a porn site?

How far are we going to let the child predators go?

Public events are fair game for picture taking and it's perfectly legal to do so, but there's no way anyone should be able to cross the line like this. Kids shouldn't have to worry about their images being splattered on porn sites. There needs to be some accountability for the photographers and the web sites.

Everyday I see pedophile sites and message boards showing and talking about children's pictures that were taken in public venues. These pedophiles trade these pictures like they are a valuable commodity. To the child and their family, they are the private moments that are being exploited online for the predators sexual pleasure.

Assemblyman Cameron Smyth wrote the Surrogate Stalker Act (AB534). He wrote this bill when Jack McClellan was in California stalking little girls. The Surrogate Stalker Act would make it illegal to publish any information about the appearance of a child, the location of a child, or locations where children can be found, for the purpose of committing a crime against a child.

Wanted: Ricardo Rosales for Molesting his 13-year-old Niece

Round Rock, Texas: Police said they need the publics help to find a man accused of molesting his niece.

Police said Ricardo Rosales, 34, broke into his next-door relatives' home in mid-November and molested his 13-year-old niece.

Rosales is a Mexican national, and police think he's hiding with friends near his former residence on Wheless Drive in Northeast Austin.

He's 5 feet 4 inches tall and weighs about 135 pounds. When last seen, he had short, black hair and a goatee.

If you have any information about Rosales, please contact the Round Rock Police Department at (512) 218-5500.

source

Child Molester Says 4 Year Old Came on to Him

Kenneth Cooke, a 73-year-old retired pastor, was convicted of molesting a four-year-old Illinois girl. He blamed the 4 year old victim, telling the judge she acted sexually provocative toward him. He had the audacity to say, "On a couple of times, I thought I was being sexually harassed. I think there is psychological evidence today that children, even in their younger years, could become interested in sex."

He went on to claim, "I never touched that child in an inappropriate manner." He said he pleaded guilty because of his ailing health.

The judge wasn’t buying it. He sentenced him to three years in prison.

Source

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I have a few problems with this. The first, and most obvious, is that no one in their right mind could even consider saying that a child, let alone a 4 year old, could be sexually provocative, or would commit sexual harassment. So this guy must be loony, or really stupid. Personally, I vote for the really stupid answer.

Second, a FOUR YEAR OLD?! Oh my God! Give me a minute to get that picture out of my head.

Third, blaming the victim is a common ploy used by child molesters. This guy is just so stupid that he thought it would work.

Finally, why did the judge only give him three years? It gets worse. With good behavior, he can be out in 18 months! The news article says he could have received probation.

Sues on Blog Talk Radio with Political Pistachio

I had the privilege of being a guest on the Political Pistachio Blog Talk Radio show yesterday evening.

I just wanted to say thank you to Doug and Mrs. Pistachio for inviting me on their show. You are both awesome. And a big thank you goes out to everyone who called in (Phil, the Loon, and Loki) and listens in to this show.

I am truly humbled by your praise and support. Together we can all make a difference. We need to increase awareness and help educate everyone about child predators. The predators have had the advantage for far too long. It's past time to change that.

Here's the link to the show

Child Predators- How Do You Really Know?

I’m often asked, “How can I spot a child predator, pedophile, or child molester? How do I really know?”

After reading our Grooming Articles, you’ll have some really great information at your fingertips that will help you recognize the behaviors of these predators.

Education really is the key to preventing these monsters from gaining access to our children. These guys rely on you NOT knowing how they operate and act. Our goal is to stop that from happening.

So how do you really know if someone is a threat? The problem is, you don’t. You can suspect, deter, and prevent, but you may never really know. Child predators are master manipulators and expert liars. They befriend the parents only so they can access their children.

You can’t point your finger at everyone who fits the profile of a child predator. But you can trust your instincts and your gut. If it feels wrong, or if someone is suspicious, then keep them away from your children. Keeping your kids safe does not require labeling someone as a pedophile.

80-95% of all child abuse goes unreported. Children do not feel comfortable talking about abuse. Predators use this and will groom the child and manipulate them into not reporting it. It is not unusual for the child to develop feelings for the predator, and to want their approval. They will give up their ability to tell good from bad. This will end up justifying the molester’s behavior. Children are vulnerable and not physically capable of stopping abuse. Parents need to be the barrier that protects the children from predators.

Remember, in most cases, either the child or the parent knows the abuser. Don’t accept inappropriate behavior from anyone. Ever. Do not be confused by charm, intimidation, or justification. Don’t let others control the situation or cross the line of acceptable behavior. Learning to say “no” in a polite but assertive manner will not hinder friendships. It will, however, deter molesters. Child molesters will not waste their time on parents who refuse to accept their charm.

Predators have had the advantage for far too long. It’s time that we all stand up and do something to stop them.

Read all of our Grooming Articles here.

Special Report – Pedophiles, What You Need to Know

For those of you in the Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, and Santa Maria areas, you can tune in on Thanksgiving night at 10pm to Fox 11 news (KKFX). Keith Carls will be doing a special report on pedophiles, how they operate, and what parents need to know to keep their kids safe. I did a phone interview for this report, and portions of it will appear on telelvision that night. I'll put a link up to the web version when it's available.

UPDATE: You can see the broadcast online here.