Lost Innocence- Sandra’s Story

The following is a true life story that was submitted to WFI in hopes of not only raising awareness, but also to help other survivors of child sexual abuse.

My name is Sandra Rivers-Davis and I have a story. In 1993 my step-father, Albert, and Barbara, my biological mother both plead guilty to a multitude of "sexual assault on a minor," charges. There were more accusations that they plead guilty to as well. I was the minor, (at that time 20 years old), who brought the accusations forth.

The abuse started when I was 2 years old. My mother divorced my dad then married Albert. Barbara, (my biological mother), and Albert then kidnapped me and my sister. The first real memory I have of being sexually abused was when I was almost 5. He brought me into the living room one night and had me touch him while his hands roamed my little girl body. I do not remember a time as a child that verbal, mental and physical abuse did not exist. Hearing Barbara scream and cry during the night, recoiling in horror at the blood in the bathroom sinks, hiding when Barbara was down on the ground in a fetal position while Albert kicked her, those were almost everyday occurrences. My sister and I were not exempt from the physical abuse, even at so young an age. We were both choke, beaten, and sleep deprived.

Then my two brothers came along. John first, then my youngest brother Allen, in 1978; his birth was brought on by Albert beating Barbara in the stomach with a broom handle. I was 5, my sister 4, and my oldest brother was 2 or 3. All of us children had been chased outside by Albert's wrath, and we cried as we listened to Barbara scream.

When I was 6, in 1979, Barbara and Albert bought 17 acres of land outside of Hunt Texas. There was NO electricity, and NO running water. The property was as secluded as they could purchase. For the first year we lived in a huge army tent. We slept in sleeping bags on top of plywood floors. We heated our bath water on top of a 55 gallon barrel camp stove. The quality of living that was being provided for us children was that of a third world country.

My sister and I went to school, with strict instructions not to tell anybody about where we lived, or how. I broke that rule once and had to stay home from school for almost a week because Albert had held me up by my neck close to the roof of the tent. I could feel the rough canvas on my cheek and smell the oil and dirt on Albert's hands as I slowly started to fade out. I came to when he dropped me on the floor and started kicking me. The beating lasted until Albert tired, then he took my outside in the dark Texas night, pulled down his pants, made me kneel on the rocks, then he forced me to perform oral sex. I was 7. When I went back into the tent with tears streaming down my face, Barbara’s only comment was that I shouldn't have said anything.

This story goes on, and on, never getting any better, only worse. Between the ages of 9 and 19, I was tied to the bed, raped, beaten, humiliated, and forced to endure a clothes hanger and herbal abortion; torture as one would expect from veterans of concentration camps. But I knew that if I left I was leaving my siblings unprotected. I had taken on the role of mother to my brothers and sister, and I couldn’t handle the thought of them having to deal with Albert on their own.

I finally gathered up the courage to leave. Even though the thought of leaving my siblings caused me great anguish, at 19, I knew that if I were to stay, I would die. Either they would end up killing me, or I would kill myself. I had nowhere to go. The day I left was July 7, 1992.

Today is November 18, 2007. During the trail that was held in 1993 Albert and Barbara both plead guilty to their charges. Albert received a total of 130 years, to be served concurrently, for his crimes. To date he has only served 15 of those years. Barbara served five years for hers.

On Wednesday, November 14, 2007, I received my phone call from the Texas Parole Board to object to his parole. There is a Mandatory Release date for Albert. May 12, 2008. Just seven months from now, he will be released and entered back into an unwitting society. He has no remorse or regret for the childhood that he ruined, or for the lives he trampled on.

Society should be informed as to how childhood abuse affects adult survivors, mentally and physically and how abuse affects how we raise our own children. Awareness is the key, and with so many abuse cases being brought to light, it would be nice to have someone that has gone through it, the worst of it, and has survived, to tell the story. Hopefully I will raise the awareness needed to help prevent abuse, and help the survivors of abuse. It is my opinion that the world as a whole needs to obliterate childhood abuse.

I have three children, a loving wonderful husband, a great outlook on life, and a passion to get this story out, to help the thousands of victims, and survivors, to know that they are not alone.

I have started an organization called Project Lost Innocence. I hope to raise enough awareness about this case that hopefully the mandatory release date law will be changed to allow case by case decisions. I also hope to provide other states with that same hope in order to keep the pedophiles from being released in society. In addition, the organization will provide a haven for victims, survivors and their loved ones. People will be able to heal, learn, hope and live. Together as a community involved we can lift up the innocent.

NEW INFO: You can read more about Sandra and her sister in an article from the Daily Times.