Seeing a Child Molester For What He Really Is
Danny was a 13 year old freshman in high school. He signed up for an extra computer class after school. He was really good at computers and walked to an ‘off campus’ school just down the street for the class. His Mom and Dad both worked, so Danny walked home by himself when this class was over, usually around 5pm.
The teacher, Mr. Jones, took an interest in Danny because he seemed to just excel at whatever was given to him. Mr. Jones spent a little extra time with Danny in the class. He would lean over his shoulder and place his hand on his back and sometimes rub his back when he talked. Danny didn’t think anything of this at first; after all, it was happening in the middle of the class in front of all the other students.
Danny advanced further than the other students, and so Mr. Jones gave him a laptop computer to take home and practice on. Danny felt uncomfortable taking the computer, but when Mr. Jones said it was just a loan, he accepted.
After a while, Mr. Jones called Danny’s parents and came over to the house to talk. Mr. Jones wanted to get Danny an internship for the summer at a computer store that he owned. Danny’s parents liked Mr. Jones and thought he had Danny’s best interests at heart.
Danny started staying after class to work with Mr. Jones. Then he would give Danny a ride home since it was so late and he didn’t want him to walk. Danny spent more and more time with Mr. Jones. He had gotten used to the way his teacher would put his hand on his thigh when he talked with him in the car. Sometimes he would even rub the back of his neck and tickle his ear. Mr. Jones had been ‘touching’ him and giving him little pats for so long that it didn’t seem wrong anymore.
Danny’s parents were thrilled with Mr. Jones. He seemed to get along so well with their son and he spent extra time with him. They even invited him over for dinner several times, and when they found out that he had no family nearby, they had him spend Christmas evening with them.
One day Mr. Jones asked Danny if he wanted to go to his house after class to see his computer. Danny was excited about seeing the computer, because it was much better than the ones at school. When they got there, Mr. Jones showed Danny some web sites with kids on them who were posing on a playground in their underwear and bathing suits. Danny thought it was kind of weird, but Mr. Jones made it seem like it was no big deal. He said they were “modeling shots” and that he took pictures of kids for magazines all the time. Mr. Jones let Danny sit at his computer and look at all the pictures and web sites he had saved on there.
Later, when Mr. Jones took Danny home, he told him not to tell his parents what they had done together at his house. He said it was their ‘special secret’ and that his parent’s wouldn’t believe him anyway.
Danny had just been touched inappropriately by his teacher and he didn’t tell his parents. He felt he had no choice. He was “groomed” by Mr. Jones so slowly and carefully that he hadn’t even realized anything was happening until it was already done.
__________
This story is a classic example of how predators will charm the adults and groom the children. By developing a trusting relationship with the adults, the molester is regarded as trustworthy and ‘above reproach’. This allows them access to children without raising suspicions.
The molester’s popularity in the community will cover up behaviors that should never be tolerated. Over 95 percent of child molesters are typically well loved by those around them. They establish an “insider status” to allow uninhibited access to children.
After a molester is exposed, it is common for adults to say things like, “He was the last guy I would suspect to do something like this.”
Molesters become friends to adults, helping them out, being friendly and nice, and just doing things that friends would do. They don’t do this out of kindness; they do this to get a hold of the children.
Molesters all follow a predictable pattern and they rarely deviate from it. By being able to identify the behavior that is used to ‘charm’, adults can stop predators in their tracks and protect their children from harm.
Check back soon for more articles on how to identify the methods used by child molesters.
To read our other articles on grooming, go to our Grooming Articles in the side bar.
The teacher, Mr. Jones, took an interest in Danny because he seemed to just excel at whatever was given to him. Mr. Jones spent a little extra time with Danny in the class. He would lean over his shoulder and place his hand on his back and sometimes rub his back when he talked. Danny didn’t think anything of this at first; after all, it was happening in the middle of the class in front of all the other students.
Danny advanced further than the other students, and so Mr. Jones gave him a laptop computer to take home and practice on. Danny felt uncomfortable taking the computer, but when Mr. Jones said it was just a loan, he accepted.
After a while, Mr. Jones called Danny’s parents and came over to the house to talk. Mr. Jones wanted to get Danny an internship for the summer at a computer store that he owned. Danny’s parents liked Mr. Jones and thought he had Danny’s best interests at heart.
Danny started staying after class to work with Mr. Jones. Then he would give Danny a ride home since it was so late and he didn’t want him to walk. Danny spent more and more time with Mr. Jones. He had gotten used to the way his teacher would put his hand on his thigh when he talked with him in the car. Sometimes he would even rub the back of his neck and tickle his ear. Mr. Jones had been ‘touching’ him and giving him little pats for so long that it didn’t seem wrong anymore.
Danny’s parents were thrilled with Mr. Jones. He seemed to get along so well with their son and he spent extra time with him. They even invited him over for dinner several times, and when they found out that he had no family nearby, they had him spend Christmas evening with them.
One day Mr. Jones asked Danny if he wanted to go to his house after class to see his computer. Danny was excited about seeing the computer, because it was much better than the ones at school. When they got there, Mr. Jones showed Danny some web sites with kids on them who were posing on a playground in their underwear and bathing suits. Danny thought it was kind of weird, but Mr. Jones made it seem like it was no big deal. He said they were “modeling shots” and that he took pictures of kids for magazines all the time. Mr. Jones let Danny sit at his computer and look at all the pictures and web sites he had saved on there.
Later, when Mr. Jones took Danny home, he told him not to tell his parents what they had done together at his house. He said it was their ‘special secret’ and that his parent’s wouldn’t believe him anyway.
Danny had just been touched inappropriately by his teacher and he didn’t tell his parents. He felt he had no choice. He was “groomed” by Mr. Jones so slowly and carefully that he hadn’t even realized anything was happening until it was already done.
__________
This story is a classic example of how predators will charm the adults and groom the children. By developing a trusting relationship with the adults, the molester is regarded as trustworthy and ‘above reproach’. This allows them access to children without raising suspicions.
The molester’s popularity in the community will cover up behaviors that should never be tolerated. Over 95 percent of child molesters are typically well loved by those around them. They establish an “insider status” to allow uninhibited access to children.
After a molester is exposed, it is common for adults to say things like, “He was the last guy I would suspect to do something like this.”
Molesters become friends to adults, helping them out, being friendly and nice, and just doing things that friends would do. They don’t do this out of kindness; they do this to get a hold of the children.
Molesters all follow a predictable pattern and they rarely deviate from it. By being able to identify the behavior that is used to ‘charm’, adults can stop predators in their tracks and protect their children from harm.
Check back soon for more articles on how to identify the methods used by child molesters.
To read our other articles on grooming, go to our Grooming Articles in the side bar.
Labels: Child Safety, Grooming, Pedophile
